If you’re stressed about how your kids will act during your session, you’re not alone and you’re not doing anything wrong. Truly. If you’ve ever pictured your sweet child transforming into a greased piglet the moment a camera appears… welcome. You’re in very good company.
I’m Michele, and I’ve been photographing families for 15 years around the Twin Cities. I’ve seen every possible kid mood: curious, shy, wild, clingy, hilarious, suspicious, and “I will only communicate through whale noises.” It’s all normal. And it’s all workable.
Here’s the good news. You don’t need to “get your kids to cooperate.” You just need a few simple prep moves that set them up to show up as themselves. That’s where the magic lives anyway.
If you want a quick, reputable read on what’s typical for preschoolers (and why big feelings are normal), the CDC has a great guide for ages 3–5.
The biggest favor you can do for kids under 5? Don’t stack the day.
And quick PSA from someone who’s watched this play out a lot: trying to “tire them out” almost never works. I’ve had families do a full day of swimming, cousin chaos, and nonstop play because they thought it would lead to a calm, sleepy child at photos. It doesn’t. It usually creates an overtired kid with a short fuse and zero interest in being touched by anyone, including their own parents. (Relatable.)
Overtired toddlers don’t get sleepy… they get feral.
If your session is at 5:30, and your day includes Target, a birthday party, a meltdown in the car, and then a “quick” dinner… you’re asking a tiny human to perform after running a marathon.
Instead, aim for a calm-ish lead-up. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just lighter.
Try this:
Real-life examples:
Kids + hunger = chaos math. Add in hungry adults and it gets… spicy.
Feed everyone before the session, even if it’s just something simple. A full belly makes kids more patient, and it makes you more patient too. And I promise: you want “patient parent energy” in your photos.
What works well:
Real-life examples:
Kids under 5 can smell pressure. If you say, “You HAVE to be good for photos,” they hear, “A BIG THING IS HAPPENING and I must have a BIG RESPONSE.”
Keep it light. Keep it normal. Keep it upbeat.
Try phrases like:
Also, avoid bribing with a mountain of promises. That can backfire fast. You don’t want a kid doing math mid-session: “If I smile for 2 minutes, do I get 4 treats or 6?”
Real-life examples:
Tell them they will have fun and they will. Bribing them only tells them it isn't fun because why else would you bribe them?
I’m going to say this clearly: I don’t expect little kids to stand still. I also don’t want them to.
Kids under 5 communicate with their whole bodies. Movement is how they feel safe. Movement is also how we get real expressions.
So if your child wants to twirl, hop, run, climb into your lap, hide behind your leg, or loudly declare they are a “baby dinosaur”… that’s not failure. That’s content.
This mindset shift helps:
Real-life examples:
Some kids do great with a familiar item. Some don’t need it. And some will suddenly decide their beloved stuffed animal is the enemy. Kids are unpredictable like that.
If your child has a comfort item that genuinely helps them regulate, bring it. Not as a bargaining tool. Just as a safety net.
A few smart options:
BUT if you don't want it in photos don't bring it! This is important because if it's there it will be photographed.
Real-life examples:
Here’s what I want you to know: I expect movement, questions, big feelings, and yes—even a meltdown. That doesn’t scare me. It doesn’t “ruin” anything. It’s just part of photographing real life with tiny humans.
I take a child-led approach. I use games. I use prompts. I use movement breaks. I watch for when kids need a reset. And I give you direction that doesn’t feel like a performance.
Also, I’ll never ask your kid to say cheese. Ever. I’d rather get the real grin that shows up when they’re mid-giggle, mid-snuggle, or mid “I can’t believe Dad just did that.”
I get it. Phones are powerful. They are tiny glowing miracles. They can also turn a lively kid into a blank stare with the personality of a loading screen.
Once the phone comes out, kids usually lock in. Then it’s hard to bring them back to real connection. And in photos, that looks like… eyes down, face frozen, and no spark.
If you need your phone for a true emergency moment, of course. But if it’s a “just in case” tool, I’d rather try a movement break, a snack, or a quick cuddle first. We keep the personality. We keep the magic. Phones should only be used at the end of the session when nothing has worked and you're throwing in the towel for something is better than nothing.
Snacks can save a session. They can also hijack it. Because suddenly we’ve got a gallery where your kid is passionately eating crackers like it’s their full-time job.
I’m not anti-snack. I’m pro-snack-with-a-plan.
What works best:
Just know that once your child knows you have snacks that's all they will want for the rest of the session and unless you want photos of your child eating with their mouth full save the snacks for last minute offers. This is why I suggest eating something ahead of the session. Your child should last 15 - 30 minutes without having a snack.
The best photos don’t happen when kids act like tiny adults. They happen when families lean into who they are right now.
Some sessions are calm and cuddly. Some are energetic and silly. Most are a mix. And that’s the point.
Your job isn’t to control the outcome. Your job is to show up, love your people, and let me handle the rest. As a Minneapolis family photographer, I’ll guide you through the session in a way that feels doable, human, and honestly… kind of fun.
If you’ve been waiting until the kids are older, easier, or more predictable… I get it. But real life doesn’t pause. And your family, exactly as it is, is worth documenting.
If you’re ready for photos that reflect the real love in your family—chaos and all—I’d love to work with you.
Michele Quattrin is the photographer behind mQn Photography, serving families across the Twin Cities with a studio in the Northeast Minneapolis Arts District. With more than 15 years of experience, Michele photographs motherhood, babies, and families in a way that feels natural and honest—while still looking polished on the wall.
Her style is calm, guided, and kid-friendly by design. Sessions are structured enough that parents don’t feel lost, but relaxed enough that kids can move, warm up, and show their real personalities. Michele doesn’t chase perfect behavior or forced smiles. She focuses on connection, energy, and the little in-between moments that feel like real life.
Michele offers outdoor sessions from spring through fall, studio sessions, and in-home sessions all year. Clients also have access to a curated studio wardrobe, designed to simplify planning and help families feel pulled-together without overthinking it.
With a background in photojournalism, Michele brings a storyteller’s eye to every session—watching for the real stuff while making sure it photographs beautifully.
For families who want images that feel like them (and still look elevated), Michele is the kind of Minneapolis & St. Paul family photographer who will guide the process, keep things moving, and make the whole experience feel genuinely doable.
Leave a comment
0 Comments